Dear Auntie, I am in misery. I like a younger boy and there is a four-year age gap between us. My parents are divorced and I live with my mother. Although I do respect my parents’ decision, I have lost faith in marriage because of what I have seen and experienced. I met this guy on Facebook and we both started to like each other. The issue is my family will not approve. There is a cultural difference too, as he resides abroad and we have never met. I have been talking to him for almost three years now. He is not financially stable enough right now, so it would be futile to tell my family about him, as I know it will be a ‘no’ from them. Moreover, his father wanted him to marry a girl he approves of. Meanwhile, I am getting other proposals. but they make me sick. I just don’t know what to do. On the one hand, I have immense trust issues in marriage. On the other hand, there’s this guy I like, but with whom my financial stability will always be in question, and then there are the other proposals. I don’t want to jump into marriage when I still have not healed, but I am of age and everyone seems to be pushing me. He wants to take this further. However, I am very surprised as to what led him to propose to me, considering his situation. I did tell him no, but we are still talking and I made it clear that I do not want to lead him on. ‘A Boy Is Serious About Me But I’m Unsure’ To be honest, since I have not met him, I am unsure that he is good enough for me. I am just fed up of all these proposals and want to take things slow. I want it to feel natural. However, my family does not understand. Seeking Clarity. Dear Seeking Clarity, You are in a tough place, as you juggle familial expectations, your own doubts and the problems of a long-distance relationship with someone you’ve never met in person. First of all, it’s great that you recognise the importance of healing and taking your time before making any life-altering decisions. You’ve been through the emotional upheaval of a divorce in your family and it’s natural that you have scars. Marriage is a big commitment and rushing into it because of external pressures is unlikely to lead to a fulfilling relationship. Regarding your relationship with this young man, it’s clear that you share a connection, but there are also many uncertainties. You’ve acknowledged that his current lack of stability and the cultural differences between you might create challenges in the future. You are wise to consider these aspects carefully, as a strong foundation is crucial for any relationship. Since you haven’t met him in person and have expressed doubts about whether he’s truly right for you, it might be a good idea to hold off for a bit and evaluate the situation objectively. Long-distance relationships are not easy and, without the chance to see how you interact in person, it’s difficult to gauge compatibility. As for the proposals coming your way, you don’t have to accept them just because they’re being pushed on you. It’s okay to set boundaries with your family to ensure you make choices that align with your values and well-being. Prioritise your healing and clarity before deciding about marriage. Seek support from a trusted friend, mentor or therapist, who can help you process your feelings and guide you. Professional help should be really helpful in addressing trust issues and building confidence in your ability to navigate life’s challenges.